Diamond Head

weird, decrepit infrastructure inside the crater's edge
an old military installation
wrought iron gates bar access to dark concrete tunnels filled with dust
an old red sweatshirt puddles on the ground -
forgotten for a weekend,
forgotten for a decade.
the spiral staircase inside the blasted stone can take you down, but not up.
the upward path is blocked by rotten plywood and rust that lets you know this metal thinks even the slightest waif is too heavy.

at a branch point, one tunnel leads into the bright light of hell
but it too is blocked off, to prevent us from seeking the grey arms of demons who promise endless stories

from the peak, in a crowd of strangers,
we see mansions with helipads and private beaches just down
the hill from a blue tarp a homeless person has made into a home
the more we look the more tents we see
one for each of the mansions at least.
do all the homeless people know each other as neighbors?
do the mansion owners know each other as neighbors?
do the mansion owners know the homeless people?

near the tents,
an abandoned velodrome features graffiti so large and colorful
it surely is visible on Google maps.

the ocean taunts painters with its thousand shades of blue
and beckons those who don't know how to sail, laughing, singing, saying - it's not too hard to learn this song
even though trying to learn that song sent countless unnamed wanderers to endless sleep in the deepwater bed.

hazy other islands fade against the horizon
so soft, so far from the sharp houses creeping up the volcanic ridges.
developers blast that sharpness to make way for places for people to make lives and make love and make darkness from the sun with curtains,
curtains instead of blasted tunnels inside the volcanic stone
a washed red sweatshirt hanging in a laundry lounge
instead of a mudstained red sweatshirt on the ground.
(I want to pick it up, but I'm afraid
touching it could infect me,
could awaken ghosts,
could resurrect the dead.)

I sweat through my clothes
and wish I could've seen this place in another time
flying overhead as a bird
thousands of years before human conquest.

I wonder which gleaming skyscrapers of glass and steel
that I've touched in my fancy clicking shoes, that I've brushed in my angular suit,
which of those will become weird, decrepit infrastructure?
will it have to be from the apocalypse
or merely the passage of time?

someday I'll look in the mirror
and my eyecorners will be as wrinkled as the raw ridged mountainsides
then I must come back to Diamond Head
and climb the 99 stairs, counting each one
in an exhalation that is also a prayer
when the words spill out, I will think a god of surfing, pouring out more surfers onto the waves, each one drawing her own calligraphy.

I hide from the sun under fancy mud - sunscreen - and a hat
a creature of shade who thirsts for sun
surrounded by voices, but listening to the one inside
and the one in the wind
the one who speaks to all who come
the one who speaks through time
with rustles in the grass.

the measure of love

Some people are less loved than other people.
A homeless man with no family and no friends is not loved by other humans.
He sits alone on the sidewalk. A few snowflakes fall around him. His gloveless fingers are cold.
A mother sits inside, warm, at the Christmas dinner table, across from her husband who loves her.
Her four children adore her. They giggle. Eli, the youngest, makes a mess of the mashed potatoes.
Her parents, proud grandparents, smile upon her. Her friends remember her birthday. This mother is more loved by other humans.
What tragedies separate them, the mother and the homeless man?

We are uncomfortable. We like to think about a God with infinite love – a God who loves the homeless man the same as the mother.
But could this be a way to absolve ourselves?
Aren't we supposed to ensure that the homeless man has as much love as the mother?
Deep down we sense that all human beings are infinitely valuable.
We’re supposed to be God's hands in the world. We’re supposed to ensure that every human has the love from other humans that they deserve.
Sometimes, what a homeless man needs – in addition to food and warmth and shelter – is a hug from a friend. When the snow is falling, he may want all those things more than the love of an invisible God.

On the tenth Christmas since the tragedies, Eli sits alone on the sidewalk, holding his own hands, looking up towards heaven.

[Featured Image by Erik Odiin on Unsplash]

the water doesn’t flow

the water doesn't flow past the dam
it's stagnant and slow
clumped mud in the reeds
the truck doesn't go at the light
the engine croaks out, sputters, dies
the asphalt hardens too slowly
the paint dries up a century too late
the grass stopped growing yesterday
the sphere doesn't break under its own weight
the moon falls to earth, the tides go still
the lock is rusted to the gate
the pen scratches dry on the receipt
the cat has no kittens
our night lacks sleep

clouds glued to the sky,
stables empty,
sand clogging the hourglass.
mouth caught in a lie,
the child pharaoh mummified.

our moth is suspended in flame
no burning, no luring
powder on its wings preserved
no flickers of orange
no juice in its organs
dry - still - dry.
dust on its false eyes stipples

we wait in silence for the ripples.

[Featured Image: moth, public domain, by Mikkel Frimer-Rasmussen]

spider in the office window

with two hands
I agonize over the blank calendar,
the pressure of the tomb.
Keyboard keys pop off with overuse.
The bird dies after flinging itself at its own reflection,
nowhere sacred to rest.
I stare at
the spiderweb in the window
sandwiched between two panes of glass
what pains the widow?
Her life is filled with purpose
To create:
a threaded glass tapestry
every morning anew
a harvester and a home.
Eight eyes,
frontward facing,
have seen enough 
and 
just enough.
Only the ruler of the dominant
can master the morning breeze
and not mind the matter.

[Featured Image: Spider, Creative Commons license]

mergull

Floating in a warm salt sea
The sensation of falling before your own weight disrupts the surface and you sink
The sand tumbled in water brushing your foot scrabbling for the words at the bottom of the water
The push into the air like a mermaid like a gull cackling for crabs cracked on the rocks
The flight over the rolling hills, fishtail flapping, fish eyes open to the sun for the first time, fish eyes opening on either side of a human face
The trees are losing their leaves
When you jump in the leaf pile who knows what spiders will silk across your skin
You are burrowing
You are at the lemon crust of the sun
You are sunburned in the surf surfing
Your feet buzzing with the warmth of the stars
Your hair alive in the wind
You dive
The mermaid goes to sleep in the kelp
The gull goes to sleep in the palm
The palm of your hand goes to sleep around a pearl
Like god holding the whole earth.

[Featured Image: Lesser black-backed gulls, Creative Commons license]

snow song

a husky playing in the snow
his fur collects small crystal balls
his face a smile, his eyes aglow
his spirit howls with wolves – he calls

to falcons soaring on the jet stream
to pine shards glowing yellow-green
to snowflakes falling through a sunbeam
to ice quails preening to a sheen 

I hear him howl that wild old song
and I decide to sing along.

the ants are part of the truth

I count the treads of my boot in the mud
I drop to my knees and the mud’s on my jeans
She who walks past this point will muse
Of the forest gods that slipped past my screens.

Who do I worship here?

The birds trill “SKREEEEEEE!” on an opal sky
A dog howls off by the skyrise line
The ants make no sound as they scurry by
My hands are blue with the winter’s sheen.

I think of the ants on a warship.

The ocean is out; She never looks real
Her plastic-wrap surface, her crests too slow.
 She’s nothing like forest – a tangible soap
That washes away the mud from my soul.

As long as I breathe, I can’t touch the curtain
That separates me from the truths I seek
But here in the woods, I know for certain
That even the ants hear the prayers of the weak. 

And the ants are part of the truth.

crickets

The sweetest sound is insects singing
No other hymn hums so continued
Young crickets chatter, wings a-flinging
No breath, free chitin, all unsinewed
Rhythms, clicks, anticipations
Legs create the shell vibrations
Body singers thrum the night
From every angle, out of sight

I am nature’s daughter

I walk by a pool of water
the sun filtering yellow through
the water skippers dancing
the sky a heated blue.

The algae air clings clothing
the sweat runs down my chest
I walk by a pool of water
but I cannot find rest.

I cannot see my iris
in the glassy surface edge
I cannot see my face or hair
or the beads hung on the hedge

I do not know my reason
I do not know the birds
that sing on heavy branches
I do not know their words.

All humans are so tiny
such an interlocking mesh
how many hands it took to build
how many pounds of flesh

No one walks beside me
No one across the lake
No one across the ocean
Am I here by mistake?

The grass is filled with tick shells
the mud smells like a sewer
I cannot see my reflection
Or the clouds upon my skewer

I sit on a rotting tree stump
And stare out at the water
A mosquito welts my arm skin
I am truly nature’s daughter.