my god gave birth to the universe

my god gave birth to the universe
in the darkness she cried out.

my god suckled the universe,
and it grew swirls of milky stars.

my god held the universe to her breast
and life sprung from rocky worlds.

my god weeps over the universe
to cleanse its wounds with her tears.

my god rocks the universe to sleep
slowing light-beats of its pulsars.

my god loves the children of her universe
and smiles upon them with the warmth of a grandmother 
hearing her baby’s baby speak his first words.

[Featured Image by David Siglin on Unsplash]

the measure of love

Some people are less loved than other people.
A homeless man with no family and no friends is not loved by other humans.
He sits alone on the sidewalk. A few snowflakes fall around him. His gloveless fingers are cold.
A mother sits inside, warm, at the Christmas dinner table, across from her husband who loves her.
Her four children adore her. They giggle. Eli, the youngest, makes a mess of the mashed potatoes.
Her parents, proud grandparents, smile upon her. Her friends remember her birthday. This mother is more loved by other humans.
What tragedies separate them, the mother and the homeless man?

We are uncomfortable. We like to think about a God with infinite love – a God who loves the homeless man the same as the mother.
But could this be a way to absolve ourselves?
Aren't we supposed to ensure that the homeless man has as much love as the mother?
Deep down we sense that all human beings are infinitely valuable.
We’re supposed to be God's hands in the world. We’re supposed to ensure that every human has the love from other humans that they deserve.
Sometimes, what a homeless man needs – in addition to food and warmth and shelter – is a hug from a friend. When the snow is falling, he may want all those things more than the love of an invisible God.

On the tenth Christmas since the tragedies, Eli sits alone on the sidewalk, holding his own hands, looking up towards heaven.

[Featured Image by Erik Odiin on Unsplash]

today

sand disturbed an ocean away
on a beach I shall never revisit
but the beach remembers my daughter's play
although we cannot relive it.

three coral fragments, two pink, one red
lost and found in a driftwood forest
but the sea remembers the day we left 
with salt on our skin and our whole lives before us.

because I walked once there, the sand stream has shifted
if I’d never lived, that sand would be different.
because I once stood there, the wind’s waves were parted
if I’d never been, the air would’ve drifted.
because I once smiled, laughed, joy blossomed within him
if I were not born, would you’ve smiled there instead?

we think of legacy, monument, history
names carved in gravestones
printed on pages
we think of the empires, rising and falling
emperors ruling
losing and lusting
we wonder if we’ll be remembered like they are
forgetting all of the emperors forgotten
the intrigue erased, the powerful vanquished
by decades or centuries, by minutes or seconds.

who is remembered by people, by places?
our atoms recycled, our atoms eternal.
who is remembered, in features, in faces?
unnatural selection, victorious and feral.

four million years since “we” walked upright
eight million years hence, will we know who rules?
what fragments of genes, yours or mine, will be trusted?
will Stonehenge remain? the pyramids? crown jewels?
certainly not that tower in Pisa
when will it fall? will the tragedy leave us?
will the Buddha be mentioned? the Christ-child Jesus? 
will the Mona Lisa hang in high honor? old Venus? Greek friezes? 
or if not: 
on what day were they archived, destroyed, or bereaved us?

the Earth will contain all our traces forever
magnesium from Plato and Genghis and Leo
carbon from Einstein, exhaled when he finished 
his theory which later will be old as Nero.

they say only god knows the hairs on my head
or the hairs in the drain, or the iron I bled
the cups, knives, and tumblers I’ll put in the landfills
(gone after centuries,
but still at risk daily
of becoming my longest material impression).

we make trash out of plastic and books out of paper
but shouldn’t it be the other way round?
what should we make all our books of? stone tablets? 
even that is unsure if the stone is unfound.
clay tablets from fewer than five thousand years off
contain the most ancient of stories not lost.

the body’s dissolved, but its influence lives on
the mind is dissolved, but its insights live on
walk the church yard entombing five thousand from wars
swim the sea, the grave of unnumbered once known
gaze at space, where few ashes soar for the stars.

I am overwhelmed by soft fingerprints on
the crust of the Earth. the heat death of the earth, 
the heat death of the universe.
but we are still here, living this way.
what of the morrow? they say
everything is now:
today.

[Featured Image: reconstruction of Ishtar gate, public domain]

sun

the asphalt in summer is so hot it burns bare feet, it returns to tar
the car dash radiating egg frying mirages
the ice cream truck languid, its tune pushing through the heat, its interior dripping with icicles
the skirt I wear has many layers of itchy netting
my church shoes are too small
one of the buckles is broken
I leave a forehead smudge on the car window as we drive past the ice cream truck up the hill towards the congregation
nobody worships the sun
perhaps that is why the sweat hisses on the sidewalk and the potato bug husk burns
She demands
and we sing hushed hymns in the dark.

[Featured Image: Nave and organ of the Cathédrale Sainte-Cécile d’Albi. Creative Commons license]

macrame

Why do we trap god in a pit
Or pickle god in a glass?
Why do we think of GOD as a man
In paintings, in print, in brass? 
GOD is not human, she said to me,
god is the spaces between
God is the gravity well, the bee,
GoD is electric: the Queen.
If you scraped all the good
from human hearts
And somehow measured its sheen
that’d be the shadow, a whisper of god
just flameless gasoline.
God is remove your sandals NOW
And slap those feet on the ground
The creation of flesh, who works the plow
Struck dumb, ambered in sound.
The sum of every genius thought
The joy of every glowing heart
The power of every pent-up watt
The counter and the counterpart.
You burn your sandals now and pray
Let god unknot the macramé.